Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I'm Trying To Keep It Together...

Any of you who know me well, know that my family is the heart and soul of me. And any of you who have been with me from the beginning of my online journey know that one member of that family has been my sidekick... my best lil' bud, my comfort, my prim assistant, my favorite critic, and my biggest fan... my heart.

My Rebekah
It was after Rebekah was born, that I knew my days of doing daycare were coming to a close. But I'd still need to bring in extra income. Time to follow some dreams... So, I joined ebay and started selling some primitives under the id tm*primitives*and*treasures. Unfortunately, my psoriatic arthritis took a vicious turn soon after starting this venture. I got to the point where I lost control of my hands and arms. I had to prop her on pillows to nurse her because I didn't have the strength to hold her. I couldn't sew or paint. It was depressing...
But... I had joined some primitive artist groups while selling my wares on ebay. So, everyday I would visit and fiddle on the computer. I could move the mouse around pretty well while cuddled up with baby Rebekah on the couch. I started delving deeper into manipulating my own photographs and scanned backgrounds. I got brave enough to offer some graphics to fellow group members. Little by little, a new business venture began. But... graphics lead to templates in the ebay world, so my venture was limited.
With Rebekah curled up in my lap, I spent night after night... sometimes 'til 4:00am studying HTML tutorials. I began to dream in HTML, think in HTML, speak in HTML!!! Finally, I began offering some templates to friends. When the requests started to come in, I wanted a fresh start business-wise, so I took a deep breath and pondered. Rebekah was inspiring me to enjoy the little girl inside of me more and more each day. Her zest for life, and beauty, and PINK was contagious. I decided for a few reasons to choose the nickname of my childhood; bestowed upon me by my own dear mom who died while I was pregnant for Rebekah. And Linda*Pinda*Designs was born.

As Rebekah grew, she would play around my feet while I created graphics and conducted my online business. She would dance and sing, sit and color, and often... she would plop herself right in my lap, and I would create with her little head of fluff bobbing back and forth in front of the monitor. I would be trying to help a technically challenged customer work through a copy and paste dilemna while wiping jelly off Bekah's cheeks.
And Rebekah spent countless hours in my studio looking out her favorite window... Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... Like on this memorable snowy day...

One of  the best parts of having her as my prim assistant was that she felt as though my friends were her friends. "Is that gollywobbles, Mommy?" "Is Cora feeling better, Mommy?" "Tell Miss Jeannie I miss her." "When are we gonna go see Maoni again?" (that's Naomi, in big people talk.. hee hee)It was an extra special treat when I would recieve a package in the mail from one of my online friends. There was sure to be a dollie or some other treasure for Rebekah to unwrap and love before placing it in it's special spot.
Like this one from my dear friend Sam, of Gollywobbles...

and this one from Penny of Miss Pootsie's Primitives...

She even travelled hundreds of miles with me to spend time with some of my dearest online artist friends. And now, their children are her friends...

Since those early days, things have gotten better for me. Enbrel injections have made an amazing difference in my physical abilities, and relieved so much pain. I've been able to return to creating original art pieces and am enjoying that so much. Rebekah likes to sit and draw right beside me.

She's been with me... right with me... from learning HTML in the wee hours, to patiently waiting for me to dole out customer service, to taking photography drives in the country, to posing endlessly for my sketch model photos, to thinking cinnamon rolls were baking in the oven only to discover it's one of mommy's dolls drying...
She's been my joy, my strength, my inspiration.

She's taught me more than I can ever teach her, including embracing the little girl inside of me, and believing I can do anything I set my mind to.

I have loved every single day of working, playing, discovering
side-by-side with my precious Rebekah.

And tomorrow.... tomorrow... she begins kindergarten.

I'm trying to keep it together.

*This was reposted from my old Linda Pinda Designs blog.

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